You Won't Believe It's (Not) Warhammer!

It's raining, you've got shit and mud up to your tighs, the bloody flux is ruining your bowels and you can't hold your axe proper without shaking unless you're drunk, and when you're drunk you're as likely to butcher your "friends" as the enemy. Goat-faced savages from the woods stole your family away and the Taxmen took what was left before sending you on an indentured expedition against the forces of chaos to pay for your debt, even though you kept telling them they had the wrong Haans.

Plus, you're not even called Haans.

Rules


Roll for your Old Career
You have the clothes on your back, d6p (brass pennies) and a knife or club (d6).
All dwarves start with a war axe (d8), all elves have a bow & arrows (d6) and hobbits have food.
Roll a d100 to know who you were before becoming an adventurer, and get some free stuff.

1. Agitator
A bunch of leaflets for various causes. Literate.

2. Alchemist's Apprentice
d3 MYSTERY POTIONS. You are literate and know chemistry.

3. Antiquarian
A map to some remote, ancient and dangerous place underground. Literate.

4. Artisan's Apparentice
A rotten potato. You wouldn't be here if you knew how to do your job.

5. Bailiff
You're the tax-man. Get two goons and a fancy feathered hat, sign of your position.

6. Barber-surgeon
Your knife is a scalpel, and a doctor's kit (see Equipment section for rules).

7. Bawd
You guide nobles through the red light district. Get a fancy wig and powder for your nose.

8. Beggar
Roll d6 - on a 1-3, you're missing a foot. On a 4-6, you're missing a hand.

9. Bowyer 
A bow & arrows (d6), and wood-cutting tools.

10. Bodyguard
Knuckle-dusters (d6) and you can always jump in the way of a hit.

11. Bone Picker
An assortment of disgusting rags and strange, usually useless knick-knacks.

12. Bounty Hunter
A crossbow (d8) with bolts and some rope. Also everyone hates you.

13. Burgher
A forged letter of introduction by a noble from Nuln.

14. Camp Follower
Cooking pots and some rations. People usually like you.

15. Charcoal-Burner
A bag of coal.

16. Charlatan
Snake-oil and a fancy-looking but cheap suit.

17. Coachman
A bullwhip (d6, entangle on a 6) and a blunderbuss (d10, blows up on a 1)

18. Druid
A friendly forest animal that follows you around and smells as bad as you do.

19. Engineer
A pulley and iron chain, and measurement tools.

20. Entertainer
Juggling balls and a silly costume. You can spit fire.

21. Envoy 
Some important message to give to someone important, and a sad kitten pout.

22. Estalian Diestro
Re-roll if not human. Get a fencing sword (d6) and a perfumed napkin.

23. Exciseman
A sword (d6), an abacus, d6 gold crowns and a bad reputation.

24. Ferryman
A small boat that can hold two or three and a ten foot pole.

25. Fieldwarden
You're a Hobbit! Re-roll your stats and get a sling (d6) and short sword (d6).

26. Fisherman
A small fishing boat and a fishing net.

27. Footpad
A hooded cloak and a crosbow (d8) with bolts.

28. Galvanizer
You announce important people and assure people are suitably awe-struck.

29. Gambler
A pair of dice and a small pistol (d6). All loaded.

30. Gamekeeper
A bow & arrows (d6), a feathered cap and you can talk to animals.

31. Grave Robber
Shovel (d6), skull of an old friend and a very large bag.

32. Guttersnipe
You only have 1hp, but you've got four other kids running the streets with you (all have 1hp).

33. Hedge Wizard
You get a magic dice and a talking owl or raven.

34. Herbalist
Not only do you know all about herbs and plants, but you start with halfling pipeweed.

35. Herdsman
A sheep and a sheep-stick.

36. Hunter
An old but faithful hound and a bow & arrows (d6).

37. Hypnotist
A brass pendulum and a pair of corrective glasses.

38. Informer
A secret worth d100 gold crowns to the right buyer.

39. Initiate
A silver holy symbol of your choice and robes of your order.

40. Jailer
A bullwhip (d6) and knowledge of interrogation techniques.

41. Jester
A ridiculous outfit, throwing daggers, and people don't take your insults too seriously.

42. Kislevite Kossar
A flask of the strongest gotrut and a double-edged waraxe (d8). You're human.

43. Kithband Warrior
A fancy scimitar (d8) and elven armor (1). Oh yeah and you're an elf, re-roll stats if necessary.

44. Labourer
A large sack and calloused hands.

45. Marine
Military attire and a pistol (d10).

46. Mercenary
Sword (d6), Pistol (d10) and you're missing an eye.

47. Militiaman
Fire-hardened spear (d6) and a shield (1, bulky).

48. Miner
A pickaxe and a nugget of silver worth d6 gold crowns.

49. Minstrel
A lute, pan flute or other sort of annoying noise-maker. Literate on a d6=1-2.

50. Muleskinner
Your knife is huge and made for cutting through animal hide. A beaver hat. Probably alcoholic.

51. Noble
Fancy clothes, a fencing sword (d6) and d6 gold crowns. Also you're probably going to get mugged.
Literate on a d6=1-4.

52. Norse Berserker
You count as having armor 1 while naked and covered in war paintings. Massive maul (d8).

53. Nun/Monk
You count as having armor 1 until you attack someone (even in self-defense). Some holy book.

54. Outlaw
A wanted poster with your face on it and a crossbow (d8) with bolts.

55. Outrider
A pony and a large hat. Plus a blunderbuss (d10) with two shots left.

56. Peasant
A very smelly cheese and some dirt.

57. Peddler
A small cart of useless junk. Roll d100. On a 1 you have something super important too.

58. Pharmacist
Phials of drugs and animalbane. People think you know how to operate on people. You don't. Literate.

59. Physician's Student
A doctor's kit and a fair chance at saving the life of people you operate on. Some opium. Literate.

60. Pilgrim
A holy book and a bag of seeds. Your family travels with you.

61. Pilot
A pilot's red cap and some redcap mushrooms.

62. Pit Fighter
Knuckle-dusters (d6) and a lot of scars and missing teeth. Violence never stresses you out.

63. Preacher
A holy book and a flask of strong alcohol. They drove you out.

64. Prospector
A shovel, some wooden sticks and a thread of white fabric.

65. Prostitute
Make-up, perfume, a pretty face and/or body and d4-1 venereal diseases.

66. Protagonist
A blunt sword (d6) and two goons.

67. Pugilist
You're a soft pit fighter. Get no gear and a huge moustache.

68. Racketeer
A sharp sword (d6) and an animal mask made of straw.

69-70. Raconteur
A book full of stories (you can't read) and pretty blonde hair.

71. Rake
Like a noble, but the nobles don't recognize you as one of their own anymore.

72. Rat Catcher
A small but vicious dog, rat traps and a box with d6 rats.

73. Reeve
A lawman's badge and a heavy crossbow with bolts (d8). And a sword (d6). Your voice is deep.

74. Roadwarden
Get an actual horse, a blunderbuss (d10), an arming sword (d6) and two friends just like you!

75. Runner
Running shoes and red cap mushrooms.

76. Rustler
A horse you've stolen, you horse-thievin scum. Also a handaxe (d6).

77. Scribe
Writing kit and the ability to read and write fast. Maybe a book or two.

78. Seaman
A woman in every port, a heart at sea and alcoholism. Also a sword (d6).

79. Seer
Visions when you sleep or when you drink a lot, allowing you to re-roll one save related to it.

80-81. Servant
Stolen silver cutlery worth 2d6 silver shillings and a fancy dress (you also stole that).

82. Smuggler
Stolen goods worth 3d6 gold crowns to the right buyer and you always go first with your pistol (d10).

83. Soldier
A brigandine & helmet (armor 1, bulky), a spear (d6) and shield (armor 1, bulky). Cowardly.

84. Squire
An arming sword (d6) and knowledge of field surgery, animal husbandry, etc. Gain an Insanity.

85. Student
A flask of strong, expensive alcohol and fancy but dirty clothes. Literate.

86. Thief
Lockpicks, a large bag and a black hooded cloak.

87. Toll-keeper
An intimidating face and a big club (d6). 3d6 silver shillings.

88. Tomb-robber
Dungeoneering kit (ropes, ten foot pole, spikes, lockpicks, etc.) and an Insanity.

89. Trader
A cart with trading goods worth d6 golden crowns and an ox.

90. Trapper
Some illegal game, a bunch of traps and a beaver hat. Maybe a crossbow (d8).

91. Troll-Slayer
Orange Mohawk, a death wish and a pair of axes that deal d10 damage in your hands.

92. Tunnel Fighter
You're a Dwarf now. A shield and dwarven armor (total 2, bulky) and waraxe (d8).

93. Vagabond
Nothing, you've been at this a while now.

94. Valet
You're always impecabbly dressed, no matter the circumstances. Lots of neat skills.

95. Vigilante
A mask a weird attire. Your fists deal d6 damage to miscreants and fiends.

96-97. Watchmen
A shield (1, bulky) and mail coat (1, bulky) and a club (d6) and a lantern.

98. Wizard's Apprentice
A casting dice and a magical grimoire that you don't understand.

99. Woodsman
A woodsman's axe (d8) and some logs.

100. Zealot
A flail (d8) and a thorny whip (d6). You're covered in whip scars. Start with an Insanity.

[HOUSE RULES HAVE MOVED] (ignore non-WFRP stuff)
Some Typical Foes (god I hate blogger's auto formatting)
as usual, assume 3hp, d6 damage and 10 in each stat unless stated otherwise.
 
Beastmen - horns and claws - kidnap you for later use on a critical.

Skavens - claws and rusty daggers, sometimes guns - plant a bomb on you or other trickery on a crit.

Chaos Marauder (10hp, STR 15, armor 2) - massive maul (d10) - kills you on a crit.

Priest of Nurgle (STR 6) - disgusting barbed dagger - inoculates you with a horrible disease on a crit.

Priest of Tzeentch (MOX 15) - 2 casting dice - mutating touch on a crit.

Priest of Slaneesh (MOX 15) - bent dagger - succumb to mind control on a crit.

Priest of Malal - mace and a casting dice - banish chaos on a crit.