Warhammer - Mistaken Identi- Disregard That, Let's Do The Missing Pig Quest!
This session report brought to you by Lu'/Carina and translated/adapted by yours truly.
After a night of hard work, we found ourselves enjoying some rest at the Schwarzenkatze Inn, in Nuln. We were well-received, with onion soup, decent beer and a deliciously melting camembert cheese. After a short nap, we went to the Reiksplaza in search of a job. A wanted poster for an ogre mercenary, stolen pigs and a very official looking call to brave adventurers from some Prince about some expedition in the mountains. Of course we decided to go and help some farmer find his lost prized pigs.
After a few hours of walk in the countryside, we reached the farm and learned some more details about the matter at hand: Bertha is a 1100lbs swine with pink complexion and a turnip-shaped brown birthmark on her bottoms. Might be wearing a collar with her name on it, too. The farmer suspects Bernardt, his neighbor and rival. While Snori looked around the pastures, investigating suspicious-looking cows, I distracted the farmer with money. No pig, but we left with some butter and cheese in exchange for a few silken tissues I wouldn't have used anyways.
Our next move was to try and pick up the pig's trail in the woods, which revealed that sometimes, even the best can mess up - at nightfall, lost in the middle of the forest, I had to admit that maybe, something had gone wrong in the whole "tracking" process. Running in circles, we stumbled on a boar, which Snori distracted with food while I climbed a tree, following my ranger training. Later on, still no tracks or way out, so we decided to make camp.
While eating, we heard a man screaming, and went to see what was going on: two deserters were beating up some peasant, and we saw Bertha nearby, an arrow in her belly! Snori tried to ambush one of the soldiers but accidentally shot the peasant instead, who lost counsciousness from shock. The two fighters weren't fooled regarding our intentions though, and attacked when I claimed the prize pig that they had stolen from that man - who had stolen it from the farmer in the first place. After a few injuries, we decided to solve things through sharing food instead of murderizing each others like animals, which the soldiers appreciated greatly. Despite my best efforts, the swine passed away, while Snori took care of the injured peasant, who revealed he had stolen the pig for his noble master, who needed it for some silly noble shenanigans involving a spoiled son and his jealous brother. Then the beastmen attacked.
Things are a bit blurry from there. I almost died, Snori did too. There was a lot of blood and fur and metal clashing against horns and claws. I broke my axe, and Snori his crossbow. At the end, I was crying and strangling one of the goat-thing while on his back, using my whole body to keep it more-or-less immobile, and fed it wolvesbane to help it choke on its own blood and puke. Snori broke the skull of the other one, then came to help me finish mine off. Then we lost consciousness.
When we woke up, several days had passed and we were in a fancy mansion. Turns out the guy we "saved" convinced the noble's surgeon to heal us, although they did take most of my hard-earned money. The noble, a Baron "Munchausen", was eccentric, to say the least, but seemed to have quite the collection of taxidermized beasts and monsters. He asked us for a small favor - to go find a pig from a local farm so that his spoiled son could get some killing done and hopefuly harden up a bit. We politely accepted, left, and decided to fuck off to Altdorf and do the grand adventure thing, seeing as the pig business is way too dangerous for what it's worth.
On the road, we found an upturned coach with dead people in and around it. One of the body looked exactly like me, which was odd but not the worst thing I'd seen this week, so I stole her fancy shoes and found something interesting in her pockets: her name was Karla Liedeburg and she was the sole inheritor of a fortune of twenty thousand crowns, and a manor in Bögenhafen, a little further after Altdorf. Plus, another paper on her confirmed that whoever held the piece of paper was indeed Karle Liedeburg, with the signatures of a Sigmarite high priest and no other than the master of the merchants' guild himself. Oh, and she had a red hand tattooed on the back of her hand, no idea what that means but it's uncommon for a burgher.
A small group of road wardens came about, and we explained to them how I had been attacked by mutants, how my twin sister had been slained and how strong and brave my dwarf bodyguard had been. They bought it, killed the mutant and escorted us to the next coach inn along the road. A week or so later, we were in Altdorf, and met with a pair of strangely behaving men who tried some kind of code gesture on me, before leaving in a hurry, seemingly disturbed by lack of reaction.
And that's the whole story so far. Here's my thoughts.
• We experimented with Zweihander, this time. Turns out it's great on paper but terrible in practice. Or at least, not the kind of game I'm into: lots of needless complexity, lots of rounds where nothing really happens beyond color, the action economy turns the whole thing into a videogame, etc. It's WFRP 2E, but more complicated, not less. Next time, I'll be using either the Nameless Game I'm working on - more on that later today, or Into the Odd with some house rules.
• They're all out of Fate Points, which is all well and good. Better be clever about picking fights from now on.
• We're learning more about our characters organically, through judicious use of questions and random tables! You know these super in-depth tables for characters background that you can use to flesh out your guy in Warhammer? I suggest using them at the table, during games, whenever you have a question like "wait, what's your hair color?" or "which mountains is the dwarf from anyway?" - the dwarf has blonde curly hair and is from Glorious Norsca, which explains his temperament.
• I love the setting. The Old World is super colorful, yet familiar. I'm terrible with german names though, which leads to a lot of silly stuff, but it's still better than meeting Bob the Militiaman.
After a night of hard work, we found ourselves enjoying some rest at the Schwarzenkatze Inn, in Nuln. We were well-received, with onion soup, decent beer and a deliciously melting camembert cheese. After a short nap, we went to the Reiksplaza in search of a job. A wanted poster for an ogre mercenary, stolen pigs and a very official looking call to brave adventurers from some Prince about some expedition in the mountains. Of course we decided to go and help some farmer find his lost prized pigs.
After a few hours of walk in the countryside, we reached the farm and learned some more details about the matter at hand: Bertha is a 1100lbs swine with pink complexion and a turnip-shaped brown birthmark on her bottoms. Might be wearing a collar with her name on it, too. The farmer suspects Bernardt, his neighbor and rival. While Snori looked around the pastures, investigating suspicious-looking cows, I distracted the farmer with money. No pig, but we left with some butter and cheese in exchange for a few silken tissues I wouldn't have used anyways.
Our next move was to try and pick up the pig's trail in the woods, which revealed that sometimes, even the best can mess up - at nightfall, lost in the middle of the forest, I had to admit that maybe, something had gone wrong in the whole "tracking" process. Running in circles, we stumbled on a boar, which Snori distracted with food while I climbed a tree, following my ranger training. Later on, still no tracks or way out, so we decided to make camp.
While eating, we heard a man screaming, and went to see what was going on: two deserters were beating up some peasant, and we saw Bertha nearby, an arrow in her belly! Snori tried to ambush one of the soldiers but accidentally shot the peasant instead, who lost counsciousness from shock. The two fighters weren't fooled regarding our intentions though, and attacked when I claimed the prize pig that they had stolen from that man - who had stolen it from the farmer in the first place. After a few injuries, we decided to solve things through sharing food instead of murderizing each others like animals, which the soldiers appreciated greatly. Despite my best efforts, the swine passed away, while Snori took care of the injured peasant, who revealed he had stolen the pig for his noble master, who needed it for some silly noble shenanigans involving a spoiled son and his jealous brother. Then the beastmen attacked.
Things are a bit blurry from there. I almost died, Snori did too. There was a lot of blood and fur and metal clashing against horns and claws. I broke my axe, and Snori his crossbow. At the end, I was crying and strangling one of the goat-thing while on his back, using my whole body to keep it more-or-less immobile, and fed it wolvesbane to help it choke on its own blood and puke. Snori broke the skull of the other one, then came to help me finish mine off. Then we lost consciousness.
When we woke up, several days had passed and we were in a fancy mansion. Turns out the guy we "saved" convinced the noble's surgeon to heal us, although they did take most of my hard-earned money. The noble, a Baron "Munchausen", was eccentric, to say the least, but seemed to have quite the collection of taxidermized beasts and monsters. He asked us for a small favor - to go find a pig from a local farm so that his spoiled son could get some killing done and hopefuly harden up a bit. We politely accepted, left, and decided to fuck off to Altdorf and do the grand adventure thing, seeing as the pig business is way too dangerous for what it's worth.
On the road, we found an upturned coach with dead people in and around it. One of the body looked exactly like me, which was odd but not the worst thing I'd seen this week, so I stole her fancy shoes and found something interesting in her pockets: her name was Karla Liedeburg and she was the sole inheritor of a fortune of twenty thousand crowns, and a manor in Bögenhafen, a little further after Altdorf. Plus, another paper on her confirmed that whoever held the piece of paper was indeed Karle Liedeburg, with the signatures of a Sigmarite high priest and no other than the master of the merchants' guild himself. Oh, and she had a red hand tattooed on the back of her hand, no idea what that means but it's uncommon for a burgher.
A small group of road wardens came about, and we explained to them how I had been attacked by mutants, how my twin sister had been slained and how strong and brave my dwarf bodyguard had been. They bought it, killed the mutant and escorted us to the next coach inn along the road. A week or so later, we were in Altdorf, and met with a pair of strangely behaving men who tried some kind of code gesture on me, before leaving in a hurry, seemingly disturbed by lack of reaction.
And that's the whole story so far. Here's my thoughts.
• We experimented with Zweihander, this time. Turns out it's great on paper but terrible in practice. Or at least, not the kind of game I'm into: lots of needless complexity, lots of rounds where nothing really happens beyond color, the action economy turns the whole thing into a videogame, etc. It's WFRP 2E, but more complicated, not less. Next time, I'll be using either the Nameless Game I'm working on - more on that later today, or Into the Odd with some house rules.
• They're all out of Fate Points, which is all well and good. Better be clever about picking fights from now on.
• We're learning more about our characters organically, through judicious use of questions and random tables! You know these super in-depth tables for characters background that you can use to flesh out your guy in Warhammer? I suggest using them at the table, during games, whenever you have a question like "wait, what's your hair color?" or "which mountains is the dwarf from anyway?" - the dwarf has blonde curly hair and is from Glorious Norsca, which explains his temperament.
• I love the setting. The Old World is super colorful, yet familiar. I'm terrible with german names though, which leads to a lot of silly stuff, but it's still better than meeting Bob the Militiaman.
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