Underground Adventures Redux (Part 1)

The sequel nobody wanted, by Alyx Ghazarian, also known as Wizard Lizard



WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
This is a recipe book for an adventure fantasy game, also known as a tabletop roleplaying game.

Think of it as a vague, cryptic information manual for some cool retro videogame you found with pages missing and no idea what kind of machine would even run that strange plastic cassette.

So in this game, there are at least two players* and around four to five is ideal, but more experienced Keepers can probably accomodate tables of up to ten or more people (I've done it before and I'm consider myself a decent Keeper). Oh, a Dungeon Keeper is the fancy name we use in this game for the person who read this book and got some more responsibilities than the other players. Basically they're here to facilitate the game by presenting a cohesive, interesting, persistent and dangerous world to the other players (henceforth the Players). They "run" the world by describing the situations within through the characters' senses, talking for and describing NPCs (non-player characters), answering the Players' questions about their surroundings and determining the outcome of the PCs (player-characters, what we call the Players' pieces, if you will) actions. Still with me?

Ok so the Dungeon Keeper (henceforth, DK) does that, with as much gusto and preparation as they want (I'll give some tips later on for that, bear with me), but just remember their job is not to guarantee that everyone has fun. That is, the whole table (the people around it, that is) is responsible for everyone's fun and safety. That means everyone should be mindful of everyone's needs and care for one another, and the fact that I have to say this says a lot about the state of the hobby... But anyways, let's say you're all newbies, or you don't know anything about emotional security because reasons, here's some tips: before the game, the DK should say something along the lines of "first of all, we're all here to have fun, so if you're feeling uncomfortable about something, or just need a break for any reason, feel free to call for one, no questions asked. This isn't some cult ritual or sacred ceremony, no big deal. Second, we're all friends here, or we will after the trials we endure together, so make sure whatever happens in the game is stuff we're OK with. In this game, there might be [list some content that you think might come up that people should be aware of before hand], is that cool with everyone?" (if you're playing with strangers, talk to them in private if possible so that they're 100% comfortable with letting you know about their needs.

Once everyone's on board, you can move on to rolling some characters, which is quick and easy in this game because they die quick and easy. That can mean the game is very dark and gritty if you really it to be, but mostly I think it means it's darkly humorous and silly and we're not here to tell grand tales but more like pathetic little picaresques of weirdoes and losers doing crazy antics.

Oh yeah, that's the Players' job by the way. Have interesting experiences without dying. Try to pull off crazy antics. Do whatever they want with the world and situations you present to them. Don't try to write a cool story, just let them do stuff and see what happens and marvel at the emergent story that happens and defies conventional storytelling tropes and expectations because maybe everybody dies in some stupid attempt at stealing the King's prized horse or something. Don't worry too much about it. If that sounds like a bad time to you, this might not be the game for you - or you can take whatever you like from it and use advice from some more fancy story-crafting (instead of story-witnessing) focused games to do something more serious with it. That's not what I'm into, so that's not what I'm going to write about.

Generating the Loser Weirdoes Characters
Hey, you need dice to play this game. A pair of regular, six-sided dice are good, a pair for everyone is ideal (but who am I kidding, you're probably playing online like everyone else, so you can just roll them on google or rolz.org or any other online dice roller. Discord has bots for it too, look it up). From now on I'll just say "d6" for a regular dice and 2d6 for a pair of dice that you add up. A d66 means a pair of dice but instead of adding them together, you make the first die the digits and the second one the unit. Like: if I roll 1 and 6, that's 16 if I want a d66 (and 7 if I want 2d6). Easy.

Because characters are cheap and I don't want people to get too attached early on, you should aim for a group of about 6 characters, that's two per player with three players, or three per player with two players. Learning to manage two or three PCs from the get-go should send the right message to your players, and yes it's fine if they focus on one and have the others as secondaries, whatever they prefer.

Anyways, roll d66 on the following Background Table to get a character. Give them pronouns and a short and memorable name (like a silly one, or a regular one, or a weird fantasy sounding one, no wrong answers, we're here to have a laugh. If you're worried about being uncomfortable if something bad happens to your character, call them something particularly silly to detach yourself. On the contrary, if you want more immersion, call them something you like. I would advise against using your own name, especially if you'd feel bad if something terrible happens to them. Remember that heroes are made, not born, and that you are generating weirdo loser rogues that have yet to prove themselves). Your background allows you and the DK to infer skill sets, knowledge, NPCs you would know and equipment. It also helps you play the character. Remember you're an adventurer / treasure-hunter now, so you can play it up or abandon your past depending on what inspires you.

If you need more details, the tables from Maze Rats are perfect.

d66 Backgrounds
Cricus Rejects
11 - Clown (honk!)
12 - Mime (your invisible backpack is stashed with invisible adventuring supplies)
13 - Acrobat (roll a d6, on a 1, you are afraid of heights)
14 - Stage Magician (you don't know any actual spells)
15 - Fire Eater (not immune to dragon breath)
16 - Snake Charmer (you could also be a Piper, or a wannabe Lion-Tamer, you know)

Punks & Other Riffraff
21 - Rat-Catcher (you should have a small but vicious dog in your inventory)
22 - Cat Burglar (yes, you can also be a catgirl)
23 - Protagonist (you're paid to pick fights and beat people up)
24 - Chimney-Sweep (probably a kid, or at least small-framed)
25 - Bone-Picker (you sort through the trash for shiny trinkets to re-sell)
26 - Rare Pet Kidnapper ("by the Twelve, you found my albino crocodile?! Let me repay you!")

Countryside Bumpkins
31 - Lumberjack (you cut trees for some local noble, you monster)
32 - Beekeeper (any situation can be improved by the addition of a cloud of confused and angry bees)
33 - Highwayman (you steal from the rich to give back to yourself)
34 - Poacher ("I hate them, with their fluffy tails and beady eyes!")
35 - Tomb Robber (at least you're honest about it)
36 - Witch-in-Training (you know a few petty spells and have a condescending familiar)

Pretentious Bookworms
41 - Physician's Apprentice (you're really good at looking like you know what you're doing)
42 - Unlicensed Alchemist (alchemy studies are a pyramid scheme anyways)
43 - Political Agitator (comes with an utterly useless university degree in TRUTH)
44 - Temple Acolyte (you were frankly terrible at following the Twelves' scriptures)
45 - Failed Librarian (shouldn't have dropped that candle)
46 - Wizard's "Apprentice" (a.k.a. domestic slavery for rich young third sons)

Murderers for Hire
51 - Reformed Torturer (you were terrible at your job)
52 - Sellsword (half of these scars were self-inflicted during training)
53 - Gladiator (you fell off)
54 - Barbarian (raised by wolves, *incoherent screaming*)
55 - Hedge Knight (heavily armoured entitled thug)
56 - Bombardier (good with bombs and guns, terrible at self-control)

Magical Weirdoes
61 - Rogue Necromancer (very lonely, you make your own friends but they're not talkative)
62 - Mohawk Dwarf (you want to ragequit life as violently as possible because of ANGST)
63 - Devil (you were banished from hell - not evil enough)
64 - Pixie ("HEY! LISTEN! HEY HEY! LISTEN! LOOK! WHAT'S THIS?! LISTEN!")
65 - Elf on a Sabbatical (this whole questing thing is just a midlife crisis)
66 - Cultist (you succeeded at summoning your God and it ate everyone else)

Write your background and name, and maybe some starting equipment on a piece of scrap paper or in a notepad. Why do you go on adventures? Because of crippling debt that's why. As a group, you share a debt of Cr10. 1 Crown is an abstract amount of silver and copper coins that's enough for about one week of upkeep or one significant purchase, like a serious weapon or re-filling supplies for an expedition, or hiring a specialist for a day's work, or a bribe to some city official. Ignore small expenses like buying a knife or a beer. A typical adventure's hoard might be worth 1d6 Crowns, as would the reward a noble might grant you for a job well done. Which means while the debt provides a starting point, you should also think of what your PC will want after a few sessions as they'll need to find their own reasons to adventure (or they can just retire once they clear their debt, that's cool too, good occasion to play another character). When a PC dies and there's no replacement available, add 1 Crown to the group debt and introduce the new character in the next scene - quickly getting the player back in play is more important than realism here.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME?
Most of the time it's just a normal conversation - the DK describes a situation, the Players ask questions or say what their PCs do and say, and the DK tells them what happens as a consequence. That's 90% of the time and a lot of game sessions might just go like that without needing to pick up dice. We usually throw dice when Players fuck up. There's Danger Rolls which are fairly broad, and there's a few more rules for handling Violence, but don't get tricked into thinking that this means combat is the focus of the game. See, this is old-school design, so the rules are not necessarily there to facilitate play (that's the DK's job), instead they are a toolbox to help running certain aspects where random chance makes things more interesting. Because we roll more dice when people fight, it makes it scarier and more unpredictable, which should encourage people to either avoid fights they can't win, or get used to rolling new characters every session (which is ALSO FINE as long as they're having fun. No shame in it, but it's no power fantasy escapism, and more like weird world simulation escapism).

Danger Rolls
When the outcome of a PC's action or inaction in the face of external momentum is unclear AND would lead to Bad Stuff Happening (like dying), the DK might ask the concerned Player to throw 2d6 and try to beat a target of 9+ (that means rolling 9 to 12 on 2d6 if that was gibberish to you). Or 7+ if they have some significant advantage such as their background or high quality equipment helping, or being prepared, etc. It's still a 50/50 shot, which should remind you that these are not like traditional skill checks or attribute checks. They're for terrible situations with terrible consequences to avoid. You just don't roll if the chances are better than 50/50 - don't make players roll to notice stuff or know stuff, they just do if it's obvious, or find stuff if they search for it cleverly (or spend enough time looking), and they either know stuff if it makes sense according to their background, or you tell them where to find someone who would know, and then they decide whether to spend energy on that. But failed perception checks or knowledge checks are just terrible. I'm not even going to argue with you. They're bad.
Oh, and do remember to telegraph risk - you don't need to tell the Players exactly what will happen if they fail, but they should have a good idea of why they're picking up the dice and what's at stake. If they seem like they're taking a stupid course of action, it's probably because you didn't convey the situation as clearly as it is in your head. Rephrase, check that everyone's on the same page, and then ask them what they're doing again. If they still want to do the stupid thing, that's normal, they're Players - but informed (even terrible) decisions are essential.

NPC Reaction Roll
Oh yeah there's these too! I like to use them when it's not clear how an NPC should act, or to inject some additional randomness to a situation. Maybe they were pissed off before the PCs arrived or something. Just roll a d6.

1 - Hostile (will attack or hinder if reasonable)
2, 3 - Wary (unwilling to help, generally unpleasant)
4, 5 - Friendly (willing to help as long as it doesn't inconvenience them)
6 - Helpful (willing to go above and beyond for some reason, might become an actual friend!)

VIOLENCE IS TO BE AVOIDED SO HERE IS 900 WORDS ABOUT VIOLENCE
When dealing with violent situations, I have a little bit of a procedure that I suggest you follow if you get overwhelmed or worry about making judgment calls when death is on the line. They're entirely optional, but without them you're going to be too nice and players will resort to stabbing people to get what they want. With them, they will stab a few people, get stabbed, roll new characters and then start being cleverer. Or your group likes Reservoir Dogs-type situations, which is also fine by me.

Surprise
When two or more parties might be involved in an ambush, or one side tries to avoid being noticed, roll a d6 for each side, with ad hoc bonuses to the side with significant advantage if necessary. If a side beats the other by 3 or more, they have achieved surprise and can act unnoticed until the situation dictates otherwise. That doesn't mean a free round of attack before "normal combat" by the way. If an ambush happens and one side begins taking down the enemy one-by-one in a sneaky way, it could last until there's no enemies left. Maybe make luck rolls if it starts to become suspicious, but don't just treat it as a "surprise round", that's videogame logic. Surprise lasts until it is lost.

Initiative
There is none. Everyone declares their Intent (and possibly clarifies how they go about achieving that), and then we resolve every action. If someone is getting murdered and they have something they need to do, they get to try even if we know they'll be dead by next round. Which means a knife fight can end with everyone bleeding out on the floor. Which means you want to avoid these! See? Violent violence rules promote pacifism.

Attacking
When an entity (character, creature, etc.) tries to harm another, the DK or Player throw a d6. That's how much damage they deal. Armour is subtracted first, then Hit Protection (HP). When attacking with significant advantage (such as fighting with a spear against a knife at good range, or shanking a guy armed with a morgenstern while grappling on the floor), roll 2d6 and keep the highest. When your attack is significantly impaired by the circumstances (such as trying to shoot someone you can barely see in the mist, or fight while being heavily injured), roll 2d6 and keep the lowest.

Armour means any kind of protection. Actual Armour (1), a Shield (1), Heavy Armour (2) or Cover (1 or 2) are the most common things that are subtracted from damage. BUT it doesn't stack beyond -2 to damage. Any extra protection grants you bonus HP during a fight instead. This prevents the d6 range for damage from becoming tedious with at worse a 1-in-3 chance of no damage being taken when being very well protected. Which means fights are quick and rounds rarely go without something changing.

Hit Protection is what keeps you from being seriously hurt and represents a mix of luck, stamina, grit and fighting ability. Mundane people usually have 1 to 6 HP. Players, being our favorites, should mark down 4 HP if they roll 1, 2 or 3. Hit Protection is recovered after a short rest (patch your wounds, eat something, have some wine, etc.) ; Critical Damage is healed when the DK says so, if at all.

NPCs you didn't bother to name or pest-like monsters die at 0 HP. Named NPCs and tough monsters, as well as PCs, have to roll on the Critical Damage table when they reach 0 HP. Subsequent rolls are at +3.

Hit Location (d6)
1. Leg or Tail
2, 3, 4. Torso
5. Arm or Wing or Tentacle, etc.
6. Head

Critical Damage (d6 on the first hit, d6+3 on subsequent hits)
1. Drop weapons, superficial cuts, wind knocked out of you, bruised, dazed, knockdown
2. Dislocations, shattered or broken weapons, numbed limbs or body parts
3. Incapacitated limbs, deep wounds, smashed teeth, broken bones
4. Severed arteries, internal bleeding, spine injuries, gouged eyes
5. Portion of a limb lost, organs ruptured, bleeding out, artery severed, stunned
6. Entire limb lost, body parts hacked in half, shock and blood loss, edge of consciousness
7+ Eviscerated, flying body parts, arterial spray, death in 1 round

Player-Characters (actively played and taking part in the adventure) gain an additional HP for every dangerous adventure (DK's discretion) that they survive, up to a maximum of 12 HP.

NPCs and Monsters gain an additional HP for every session where they survived the PCs, with no upper limit. Henchmen and followers don't count, also. This makes for cool recurring villains and archnemesis that grow more dangerous on the long run.

Morale
Because violence is so darn terrible and death or injury is just around the corner, most sane people don't want to keep fighting if weapons are involved, or at least not without very good reasons. This is represented by the morale rule. How it works is easy: after every significant change in a violent situation, the DK should roll 2d6 for groups or individuals to check their morale. A high roll means morale is high, and a low roll, means morale is low (simple enough) - the DK should interpret what that means in practice based on the situation and motivations of the NPCs involved. Stupid monsters and animals are usually operating on instincts, which normally include self-preservation. People usually want to stay alive. Keep that in mind and that'll make your games way more interesting as people trying to avoid being dead get to come back later and interact with the PCs, making the campaign more and more immersive and bringing verisimilitude to the experience. Also it might remind the Players that they also shouldn't fight to the death unless they really want to.

MECHANICS SUMMARY
- Danger Rolls = 2d6 vs 9+ (7+ with advantage).
- Reaction Roll = 1d6 (1 Hostile, 2-3 Wary, 4-5 Friendly, 6 Helpful).
- Surprise = d6 vs d6, beat by 3+ to achieve surprise, lasts until it is lost.
- Initiative = Declare Intent, Resolve Every Action Simultaneously.
- Attacking = d6 Damage (2d6 keep highest w/advantage, lowest if impaired), Ablative Armour, HP.
- Armour subtracts up to 2 points from Damage, additional protection is Bonus HP.
- 1d6 HP for Mundane Characters, PCs treat a roll of 1-3 as 4 instead.
- At 0HP, take Critical Damage. Subsequent hits are at +3 on the Critical Damage table.
- PCs gain 1HP per dangerous adventure survived up to 12 max.
- Named NPCs and tough monsters gain 1HP per violent encounter with the PCs survived, no limit.
- Morale = 2d6, low means poor morale, high means strong morale, few are willing to die violently.

And that is all the rules. Next time I'll tell you about a world of high zany adventure!